New Year’s Resolutions

December 30, 2009

Seven tips for a more livable New Year

If you are like me, you’re happy to see the back end of this year and are looking forward with renewed hope to the New Year just round the corner.
Here are  some tips for a more livable New Year  that  don’t  need to cost  you money, and if practiced regularly  may even save you som, because you will feel less stressed, and require less self-medication or visits to the doctor. These tips are useful for everyone, not just for people with autism in their lives either as parents or professionals, so feel free to pass them  around. I hope you will adopt one or two of them as your New Year’s Resolutions:
·      Practice self-care.  Even if it is just for 15 minutes a day, take a breather.  Just like the flight attendants on airplanes instruct you to put the oxygen mask on you before helping a child, you need to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of  others.

·      Acknowledge what you have accomplished. Too often, at the end of the day, people think about all the things on their to-do list that they have not gotten done.  Do yourself credit – think about all that you did   accomplish that day. You will be amazed at how long that list is, and you will sleep better at night.

·      Focus on the positive. Nothing in life is perfect. Every situation has appositive and a negative aspect to it.  Focusing on the negative will leave you spinning your wheels. Focusing on the positive will give you the energy you need to  move forward.

·      Remain true to your life goals and values. If you know what you want, keep your eye on the ball. Evaluate the opportunities that present themselves and ask yourself, “Is this is line with my plan for myself, my family, my community? Is this in line with my values? ” If yes, accept. If not, decline.

·      Forgive yourself. We’ve all done something or said something we’ve later regretted, or perhaps not behaved or worked up to our usual high standards. Learn from the experience, but don’t dwell on your mistakes.

·      Forgive others. No-one is perfect, and as you wish to be forgiven by others, you must forgive those around you.

·      Practice wisdom, serenity, and courage. A wise man once prayed: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” No matter your religious beliefs, we all need that kind of wisdom.
Best wishes to you and your family for a happy, healthy, and wealthy New Year.

First posted on Examiner.com December 30, 2009

Dear Santa

December 24, 2009

Dear Santa,

This year, I am not asking for a cure for breast cancer, or cures for world hunger, ignorance, the crappy world economy, homelessness, the negative aspects of autism, greediness, war, global warming, or any other crisis facing the world today.

This year, I am being purely selfish and asking for fulfillment of a few basic needs for my family. I realize that compared to others, we are a very fortunate family because we have a roof over our heads, and my husband and I still have work (although we are making only 2/3rds of what we were making the year before and the cost of living is way higher, but why quibble?).

At the risk of appearing greedy, here is my wish list for what I would like to find under the tree this Christmas :

1. $100,000 for a college education for my daughter, Rebecca. She is graduating from high school in June, and according to the local papers, she will be lucky if she graduates from a state college or university in 5 or 6 years, if she gets in at all. Our beautiful state is broke, so there will be less students admitted to the colleges in fall 2010. Rebecca is applying for scholarships, and working some, but it’s not going to be enough. There is not much in the way of student loans anymore. We have equity in the house, but we need to save it for real emergencies, like if our income continues to spiral downward (oh, and our son requires 24 hour support, and how are we going to pay for that?). Please, can you help us here? We’d be grateful even for a quarter of that amount.

2. A bigger iPhone for my son, Jeremy. I know this may sound like a weird request, but he can’t talk very much due to his autism, and Apple has this great program called Proloquo2Go which can give him a voice. Problem is, the iPhone keys are really too tiny for him. Jeremy uses another assistive technology device, but it is heavy, hard for him to push the buttons, and frankly looks very ‘special ed.’ Not only that, but it costs a small fortune compared to the iPhone, and breaks down often. Communication is key to being an active part of society, and looking cool is important at his age. Please tell me you agree and grant this wish.

3. If you don’t have any pull with Apple re: the iPhone, another wish high on my son’s list is a girlfriend, because besides communication (and $$$) what is life without love or a warm body to hug? I’m sure living at the icy North Pole, you and Mrs. Santa can relate to that. Seems like something a mom shouldn’t have to ask for her son, but although my Jeremy is buff from working out at the gym and really cute, he’s not typical boyfriend material what with his autism and all. Funny thing is, Jeremy doesn’t understand why I just don’t run out to Costco and get him a girlfriend – I’ve been getting him everything else he needs all these years like occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy, vision therapy; why not a little massage therapy? Maybe you can help with this one?

4. For my husband and I, my request is not that you give us anything, but we would like you to take back the 15 extra pounds each that we have put on stressing out on #s 1,2,3 above on our wish list. Feel free to re-gift them to someone else who could use a little fattening up. We would be happy to know that we are helping a family in need.

5. Last, but not least, For our dog, Handsome, and our cat, Gabe, a year’s worth of food would be helpful. We’ve had to start rationing and Gabe keeps trying to get outside to hunt for her dinner, and we really like the birds in the area – we don’t want them to end up in Gabe’s tummy.

I guess that’s it for what we’d like to see under the Christmas tree this year. I know there are people worse off than we are, and I feel guilty even sending you this letter. I hope you understand.

Thank you in advance, Santa. We wish you and Mrs. Claus, all the elves, and the reindeer, a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Sincerely,
Chantal