Modern Love

My son is pining for a girlfriend. He’s on Facebook.

Relationship Status: Single
Interested In: Women
Looking For: Friendship, DatingA Relationship, Networking.
Political Views: Go Obama!
About Me:  I like to listen to music and walk on the beach. I can type with one finger. I have autism.

Jeremy is quite a catch – he’s buff from working out at the gym,  has an endearing personality, and he starred in an award-winning episode of the MTV ‘True Life’ series.  Never mind that he is autistic,  and  needs help with everyday living skills, and probably always will. (In my opinion, he should be looking for a traditional wife who will take care of him, instead of a girlfriend, but I digress).

One night recently I woke up at 3:00 am to find that all the houselights had been turned on. Usually a sound sleeper, Jeremy had been making the rounds.  I heard him downstairs and decided to investigate. He was looking through my husband’s collection of architecture books. He found the one he was looking for, Las Vegas: The Fabulous 50’s, and flipped it open to the section on strip clubs and showgirls. “Why are you up, Jeremy, what’s going on?” I asked. “I’m thinking about girls,” he replied.

Continue reading »

One Small Step Towards Self-Regulation

How to teach your teen with autism to request a break

Self –regulation is a needed life skill  not practiced  by most teenagers. Often teens on the spectrum need sensory breaks to help them self-regulate, yet some are unable to communicate the need for one. If you are a parent or an educator, you may want to consider teaching the teen to request a break using a “ I need a break” card.

Let’s  say you have a student that you work one-on-one with for a one hour slot of time. Every time you sit down to work with him, after about 20 minutes he gets up and leaves the worktable and there is no holding him back.  What you need to do is teach him to communicate to you when he needs a break,  and allow him  to have  those needed breaks within reason.   Here is one way to do that: Continue reading »

One small step towards self-regulation

How to teach your teen with autism to request a break

Self –regulation is a needed life skill not practiced by most teenagers. Often teens on the spectrum need sensory breaks to help them self-regulate, yet some are unable to communicate the need for one. If you are a parent or an educator, you may want to consider teaching the teen to request a break using a “ I need a break” card. This may be helpful in preventing meltdowns or compliance issues. Teenagers need to be given more control over their time and need to be able to request necessary breaks  in an appropriate manner.

Let’s say you have a student that you work one-on-one with for a one hour slot of time. Every time you sit down to work with him, after about 20 minutes he gets up and leaves the worktable and there is no holding him back. What you need to do is teach him to communicate to you when he needs a break, and allow him to have those needed breaks within reason. Here is one way to do that: Continue reading »

Autism study retraction opens conversation

Autism study retraction opens conversation

by Jackie Johnson on February 5, 2010

in Children & Families,Health & Medicine

A medical journal this week retracted a study it published in 1998, saying indications of a link between the MMR vaccination and autism were false. Autism author Chantal Sicile-Kira reacts to that retraction, saying it’s kind of a setback and a disappointment, but it doesn’t answer any questions.  Sicile-Kira says the back-pedaling highlights the fact that more studies and research needs to be done to find out what causes autism. She first looked at this issue very closely when she wrote her first book, Autism Spectrum Disorders, which won the outstanding literary award from the Autism Society of America in 2005, at which time she says there were relatively few people talking about the connection between vaccines and autism.The autism expert, parent of an autistic child, and author is in the Milwaukee area presenting a workshop on what to expect during an autistic child’s adolescence.

NOTE: The session will be from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Friday at Country Springs Hotel Conference Center, 2810 Golf Road, Waukesha.

NOTE: Chantal Sicile-Kira has a book coming out “41 Things About Autism” in March-April 2010 that will answer the most common questions that people ask her about autism and having a child with autism. She’s also promoting a new biographical HBO movie about her close friend Temple Grandin, who is a very popular autism activist, who also has the disease.

I am an adult and I think I may have Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). How and why should I get diagnosed if in fact I do have AS?

This article originally appeared in The Autism Advocate blog at PschologyToday.com

Usually I write mostly about children or adolescents on the autism spectrum. However,  I’ve been getting quite a number of emails lately from adults wondering if they have Asperger’s Syndrome or not, so I decided to share some information from my book to be published March 25, 41 Things to Know About Autism. Asperger Syndrome (AS) is a high functioning form of autism that has only been an official diagnosis since 1994. Adults with AS who seek help with challenges they face are sometimes misdiagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, or other mental illnesses. It is important that adults questioning whether or not they have AS, seek the services of a professional experienced in assessing AS in adults (see resources below).

If you are an adult with characteristics resembling AS, why does it matter if you get a diagnosis or not? If you are functioning well and have a job, and are happy with the life you have, then there is no reason to get a diagnosis. On the other hand, if you are struggling in important areas in your life, a diagnosis can provide a framework for understanding and learning about behavioral and emotional challenges that have seemed unexplainable until now. Although challenges in sensory integration (the ability to organize sensory information for use by the brain) are not considered diagnostic criteria, I have yet to meet a person with Asperger’s who does not have a sensory challenge of one kind or the other.

Some areas of difficulty where Asperger’s Syndrome could possibly be a factor:

  • Do you have a tough time making and/or keeping friends, and don’t understand why? Or perhaps your friends are only interested in you when you’re engaged in an activity or interest that you share, but you have not built a personal relationship.
  • Are parties not your thing because you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed? Social events are a great way to meet people and they can be essential for business, dating, and even marriage. But if you are uncomfortable because you are unsure of what to wear, how to start conversations, you have a hard time reading body language, then these supposedly fun events can be torturous.
  • Do you avoid social events because you can’t hear the person next to you over the hum of the crowd, you don’t like the touch of shaking people’s hands or having people pat you on the back? Do you a problem focusing on what people are saying while looking at them?
  • Have you ever met someone special that you wanted to get to know better, but didn’t have a clue as to how to go about asking him /her out on a date?
  • Has someone you are very fond of pointed out certain behaviors that drive them crazy and suggested that you might have Asperger’s Syndrome. Maybe there is something to their suggestion.
  • Do you have a passionate interest in a certain subject or topic? Perhaps you’ve been called obsessive but you think you’re just very interested in one incredibly fascinating subject matter. This passionate topic could help you in other areas of your life, if only you knew how to use it.
  • If you are a college student , do you have trouble keeping up with coursework and finishing a degree? Perhaps you could use some help in getting and staying organized and planning your time.
  • Do you have trouble in getting and keeping a job that reflects your abilities even though your credentials look great on paper? It could be that you are very talented but don’t have a clue as to how to do the sell your self during an interview. Maybe the office politics are just something you don’t get, so you are routinely passed up when it comes to promotions.

Why you should get a diagnosis, if indeed you do have Asperger’s Syndrome:

  • You can begin the process of learning to live more adaptively with an Asperger’s brain.
  • Getting a diagnosis may help you find the strategies you need to be more successful in the areas where you are facing challenges
  • It may also help others in your life understand why you are the way you are, and respond to you differently.
  • There is a whole community of people who get who you are, how you think, how you feel, and that you can share experiences with.
  • There are autism and AS support groups out there (on-line as well as in person) who can help you in many ways so you don’t have to feel isolated and figure everything out for yourself .
  • You may be eligible for service services in areas of need thanks to having a diagnosis – perhaps help with finding a job or a place to live.

How to find out if you have Asperger’s Syndrome or not:

  • Typically you need to see either a clinical social worker, a licensed professional counselor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist or neuropsychiatrist. It is important to see a professional who specializes in autism spectrum disorders or Asperger’s Syndrome, who is familiar with Aperger’s Syndrome in adults.
  • One way to find the right person in your geographical location is to contact The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership (GRASP), http://www.grasp.org/and the Autism Society of America (ASA). These organization may have chapters in your area. If not, they can provide you with the names of professionals who would know someone to refer you to, in your geographical area.
  • if you know parents of children with autism, ask them about the professionals in your area familiar with autism. If those professionals cannot help you, they will refer you to someone in your area familiar with AS in adults.

To find out what some adults have to say about growing up with AS, read Autism Life Skills.