“Geek Dad: Awesomely Geeky Projects and Activites for Dads and Kids to Share” Free copy available

December 13, 2010

Geek Dad book

I’m not trying to out any Geeky moms or Geeky dads for that matter (notice I haven’t mentioned autism or Asperger’s Syndrome). But I couldn’t resist posting this – my publisher offered to send a free book to  a person of my choosing –  and I thought it would make a great present for winter break – lots of time to try stuff out, right?

I am not considered a Geek, yet I have always loved cool activities to do with my kids. I have always completed activities, they just never looked or turned out the way they were supposed to.  Let’s face it, I’ve always been a geek wannabee.  This book, Geek Dad: Awesomely Geeky Projects and Activities for Dads and Kids to Share by Ken Denmead speaks to the inner geek in all of us. Ken is the editor of GeekDad, a blog on Wired magazine’s Web site.  A professional civil engineer, he lives near San Francisco with his two sons, who are both geeks in training.

Here is a great book and I can send you a free copy. Just write a comment below (or send me a private email if you are too shy) within the next 48 hours, and I will pick one of you to get a copy from the publisher for free.

Meanwhile, here is  an  activity from the book – making coloring pages:

Because there are levels to artistic ability and interest, I’ll show you two different coloring pages you can make. First, the classic dot-to-dot, then coloring sheets. They are all made from images you can find online or scan into your computer from sources at home.

Dot-to-Dot Coloring Page

To start, you have to pick the image you want to turn into the coloring page. For dot-to-dots, it’s going to be a lot easier to select simple images, though if you’re patient and want more detail, you can go for the gusto with more detailed pictures. But dot-to-dots are great for younger kids who are learning about staying within the borders. And they love to be amazed by what they can create by drawing a series of lines between dots.

For this example, we’re going really simple—an image of the sigil of the Rebel Alliance.

(Advisory: If you are reasonably experienced with graphics software and know what a layer is, you can skip down a couple of paragraphs to the one that starts “Select a pen . . .”.)

Assuming you’re a geek, we are going to figure you have some manner of graphics software, probably for touching up pictures from your digital camera. Common (and pretty good) examples of such software include Photoshop Elements (the cheaper, easier-to-use version of the industry standard Photoshop) available on Mac or PC; Pixelmator for the Mac; or GIMP, which works on PC, Mac, or Linux and is FREE FREE FREE. Maybe you haven’t played around with the software that much. If that’s the case, here’s a quick lesson about the first feature you’re going to use.

A layer is a standard concept in image editing software. Conceptually, it’s very simple. Imagine if you took a printed picture and laid a piece of tracing paper over it, and then copied the features by hand on that tracing paper. Well, a layer is just like tracing paper, only it works digitally on the computer, and you can have as many of them as you want.

Step 1: For this project, you open your base image in the editing software of your choice. Then you  add a layer. Most of these pieces of software have a menu actually called “Layer” from which you can “Add a Layer.” Once you’ve done that, there is a perfectly transparent layer of digital tracing paper on top of your image, upon which you can now trace, without affecting the original picture.

Step 2: Select a pen or pencil tool and a fairly small brush size to make your dots with. Draw black dots all around the edges of the image, at relatively even intervals. Straight lines need only one dot at either end. Curves need more so that, when they are connected, they will better re-create the curve.

Step 3: These programs should have a separate control window that shows all the layers in the current project. From this window, you can now “turn off” the layer with the original image on it so that you see only the dots.

Step 4: If you want to go all the way, you can also use the program’s text feature to add numbers next to each dot to give your artist a sequence to follow. Or you can just save this file and print as many of them as your kids want to color, letting them be creative and decide how to connect the dots.

Coloring Book Pages

Obviously, older kids and those with more advanced coloring skills are going to be hankering for something a bit more challenging than connect-the-dots. What’s great is that these graphics programs have filters that let you kick out coloring pages by the ream with only a couple of clicks. They require even less work than the dot-to-dots.

Pick an image. For this example, I used a snapshot I took of my classic Nauga (http://www.nauga.com/promoitems_nauga.html) in my office. I opened the image in Pixelmator and then used “Filter-Stylize-Line Overlay” to automatically find the edges in the image and drop everything else out, making a perfect coloring sheet (there are settings you can tweak to get it “just right”).

In Photoshop Elements, the process is nearly as easy. Open the image, and use “Filter-Stylize-Find Edges.” Then use “Enhance-Convert to Black-and–White” to drop out the colors, and you have much the same effect.

In GIMP, you can try “Colors-Desaturate,” then ”Filters-Edge Detect-Neon” and “Colors-Invert” to get a similar effect. You may need to play with some settings to get an optimal result (and you can save those settings for future uses). GIMP is just as powerful at the other programs in many ways, but it is not quite as user-friendly, so there’s a bit more of a learning curve.

Once you have the technique down, you can whip these out en masse and build your kids (or get your kids to build) their own coloring books, using images they find online (Google Image Search is excellent for this, though make sure you keep an eye out for inappropriate content; or try the Web sites for the cartoon shows they like—Disney or Nickelodeon) or scans from other books or sources.

One other way to do this—with slightly less creativity (and therefore less geek factor) but without the need for special software—is the Coloring Page Maker at the Crayola Crayons Web site: http://play-zone.crayola.com/.

1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Boys and Autistic Girls.

November 24, 2010

Those who have heard me speak at conferences or who read my books know that I love information that is usable. When it comes to books on autism, practical rules. Two books have just been published that are full of useful tidbits that parents will appreciate, and these are 1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Girls by Tony Lyons, and 1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Boys by Ken Siri.

Like any book on autism, some of the tips in these books will apply to your child and your situation, and others may not. But with 1001 tips there are many to choose from. The book for parents of autistic girls is a great resource, as lately there have been a few books published on Aspie girls but nothing really for those on the other parts of the spectrum. When it comes to puberty and the teen years, parents of girls need information about how to handle the changes puberty brings (I think you get the picture).

On Thanksgiving Eve, I am grateful for the autism community of parents, professionals and support staff who have shared their wisdom as we search for enlightenment. In honor of the release of these two 1001 Tips  for Parents, I’m sharing my favorite tips for making it through the holiday season from my recent Psychology Today blog. Parents, you may find these useful in making it through the upcoming month and a half. I know how difficult it can be.

(If these tips don’t work, remember the three V’s – valium, vodka, vacation, but not if you are driving and certainly not for your child. – Disclaimer: The information appearing between these parenthesis was written to incite laughter, and is not to be taken as medical advice, please check with your doctor before self-medicating).

Why the holidays are so difficult for families with autism and what can help

Often parents in the autism community will joke that we become more religious during the holiday season that begins with Thanksgiving: we pray our children will behave while we are visiting relatives, we pray they will show interest in their gifts (and not just the ribbon), we pray they will sit at the dinner table, we pray they won’t hit the relative who tries to kiss them, and above all – we pray that we will have the strength to politely ignore the judgments passed upon us and our ‘misbehaving’ children.

Here are some areas of difficulties for children on the spectrum and their families during the holiday season, from my book, 41 Things to Know About Autism, published earlier this year :

The stores are full of noise, lights, lots of people, and winter holiday music that can create major overwhelm for those with sensory processing challenges.
• Social requirements such as relatives wanting a hug or a kiss that can fell painful.
• Holiday dinners where they are expected to try foods or sit for long periods of time with so many people and so much commotion.
• Many children are mesmerized by the colors and textures of the ribbon and wrapping paper and do not open the present but stim (get engrossed and play) with the wrapping
• The child does not understand personal space or have safety notions and so may run around the house or try to play with something breakable.
• Relatives may think that the child is misbehaving, and may try to discipline the child, not realizing that the child really can’t help it, and that discipline is not helpful when it comes to sensory overload and high anxiety.
• Parents have a difficult time because they know there are certain expectations of behavior that relatives and friends have and that the child cannot fulfill.

What can you do? With some preparation, planning and information sharing, the holidays can be less stressful and more enjoyable. Here are some tips on how to prepare your friends and relatives whom you will be visiting:

• Explain the difficulties your child has with the holiday dinner environment, decorations, noise etc.
• Let them know he is not just misbehaving, and that he is learning little by little to handle these situations
• Explain about dietary challenges so they don’t expect him to eat what everyone else is eating.
• Ask if there is a quiet room (child -proof in terms of décor) where your child can retreat for some quiet time to escape the commotion and noise.
• Send them a short but sweet letter or email ahead of time explaining why your child acts the way he does and the difficulties of the holidays form his point of view. They will have a better understanding of why she won’t wear a dress or he won’t wear a necktie, and why as more and more people start arriving, he tries to escape the room.

To prepare your child:

• Make a social stories book about what will be happening and the behavioral expectations. If possible include photos of who he will be seeing, the house  decorated during last year’s holiday season. If he is going to church, do the same for that environment.
• Play some of the music he may be hearing at this holiday season.
• Practice unwrapping presents – wrap a bunch of boxes up with favorite treats inside and have him open them to get to them.
• Practice a handshake if he can tolerate that.
• Write rules together – ie how long he thinks he can tolerate sitting at table, and the expected behavior.

On the day of the holiday celebration:

• Remind your child of the agreed upon rules
• Pack some little toys he can play with in his lap at the dinner table
• Bring some foods he can eat, especially if he is on a specific diet.
• Arrive early so that the noise level builds up slowly for him.
• Do not let the expectations of others ruin your day. Do what you need to do to make it as comfortable as possible for you and your child.

Holidays can be difficult because of all the expectations, as well as the sensory challenges, but with planning and information sharing the holidays can be more enjoyable for all.

An Interesting Read: Create Your Own Economy by Tyler Cowen

October 16, 2010

About a year ago, this book arrived on my doorstep and although I was intrigued by the title, I wondered why I was being sent a book about economy by my publisher.  I was busy writing 41 Things to Know About Autism so I put it aside. Today, heading out the door to catch a plane for a speaking engagement in Grand Junction, Colorado, I grabbed it to read on the plane. I thought it would be nice to read something different from my usual repast of autism books.

Create Your Own Economy: The Path to Prosperity in a Disordered World, is a misleading title because this book doesn’t seem to have much to do with economy but does talk a lot about how as individuals we organize information these days and how this relates to autism in the writer’s mind. Tyler Crowen, a behavioral economist, writes about how people with autism organize and manipulate information, how our consumption of information is changing, and how the way we organize these information bites are reminiscent of autistic thinking. A very interesting read, Tyler has many positive things to say about autism and how it should  be discussed not as a disability, but rather as an ability and an asset to society. Although I agree in principle, I only have to think about how much help my son needs at 21 due to his autism and how much it is costing the state and the family for him to live due to his need for 24 hour supports. That’s the reality of his economy – and mine – at the moment.

That being said, I agree with much of what Crowen has to say, and it would be nice if society had more his viewpoint when looking at some of the ‘quirkiness’ or ‘obsessions’ of those on the spectrum. Crowen became interested in autism when a reader of his blog wrote  telling him he sounded like he had a lot of Aspie or autistic traits. So Crowen began to read about autism. He states at the beginning of the book,  “As I read more, I began to see that the autistic mind-set about engaging with information is a powerful way to understand the whole world around us. Especially now.”

Read it for a fresh look at autism, and how the way we use and analyze information now is more like our loved ones on the spectrum.

Autism Life Skills

July 20, 2010

Teacher: “What are your greatest dreams about your future?”

Jeremy: “I want to have my own house with roommates, good friends,

a fun job and be learning.”

Teacher: “What are your greatest fears about your future?”

Jeremy: “That I will not have enough money.”

Teacher: “What barriers might get in the way of accomplishing your goals?”

Jeremy: “You know I need good helpers. I need people that respect my intelligence.”

-Interview with Jeremy Sicile-Kira

Transition Year 2007-08

With two teenagers who will soon be out of school, there has been much reflection and soul searching taking place in my home lately as to whether or not we’ve made the right decisions as parents over the years. Rebecca, our  neurotypical teenager, has just started driving and is becoming more independent. In hindsight, there is not much I would do differently if we had to start raising her all over again.

My thoughts concerning Jeremy, our 19-year-old son with autism, are somewhat  different. Those who have seen him on the MTV True Life segment “I Have Autism” will remember his can-do spirit and his determination to connect with other people, but also how challenged he is by his autism. Obviously, there are many more options available to help people like Jeremy today than when he was a baby. Over the last few years, as we considered how to best prepare Jeremy for the adult life he envisioned, I wondered what we could have or should have done differently when he was younger.

This led me to think: What would today’s adults on the autism spectrum point to as the most  important factors in their lives while they were growing up? What has made the most impact on their lives as adults in terms of how they were treated and what they were taught as children? What advice did they have to offer on how we could help the children of today? I decided to find out. I interviewed a wide-range of people—some considered by neurotypical standards as “less able,” “more able” and in-between; some who had been diagnosed as children; and some diagnosed as adults.

The result of these conversations and e-mails became the basis of my latest book, Autism Life Skills: From Communication and Safety to Self-Esteem and More—10 Essential Abilities Your Child Needs and Deserves to Learn (Penguin, October 2008). Although some areas discussed seemed obvious on the surface, many conversations gave me the “why” as to the challenges they faced, which led to discussions about what was and was not helpful to them. No matter the differences in their perceived ability levels, the following 10 skill areas were important to all.

Sensory Processing

Making sense of the world is what most adults conveyed to me as the most frustrating area they struggled with as children, and that impacted every aspect of their lives: relationships, communication, self-awareness, safety and so on. Babies and toddlers learn about the world around them through their senses. If these are not working properly and are not in synch, they acquire a distorted view of the world around them and also of themselves.

Most parents and educators are familiar with how auditory and visual processing challenges can impede learning in the classroom. Yet, for many, sensory processing difficulties are a lot more complicated and far reaching. For example, Brian King, a licensed clinical social worker who has Asperger’s, explains that body and spatial awareness are difficult for him because the part of his brain that determines where his body is in space (propioception) does not communicate with his vision. This means that when he walks he has to look at the ground because otherwise he would lose his sense of balance.

Donna Williams, Ph.D., bestselling author and self-described “Artie Autie,” had extreme sensory processing challenges as a child and still has some, but to a lesser degree. Donna talks about feeling a sensation in her stomach area, but not knowing if it means her stomach hurts because she is hungry or if her bladder is full. Other adults mention that they share the same problem, especially when experiencing sensory overload in crowded, noisy areas. Setting their cell phones to ring every two hours to  prompt them to use the restroom helps them to avoid embarrassing situations.

Many adults found it difficult to tolerate social situations. Some adults discussed how meeting a new person could be overwhelming—a different voice, a different smell and a different visual stimulus—meaning that difficulties with social relationships were not due simply to communication, but encompassed the total sensory processing experience. This could explain why a student can learn effectively or communicate with a familiar teacher or paraprofessional, but not a new one.

The most helpful strategy was knowing in advance where they were going, who they were going to see and what was going to happen, so that they could anticipate and prepare themselves for the sensory aspects of their day. Other strategies included changing their diet, wearing special lenses, having a sensory diet (activities done on a regular basis to keep from experiencing sensory overload), undergoing auditory and vision therapy, as well as desensitization techniques.

Communication

The ability to communicate was the second most important area of need cited by adults. All people need a form of communication to express their needs, in order to have them met. If a child does not have an appropriate communication system, he or she will learn to communicate through behavior (screaming or throwing a tantrum in order to express pain or frustration), which may not be appropriate, but can be effective. Sue Rubin, writer and star of the documentary “Autism is a World,” is a non-verbal autistic college student and disability advocate. She often speaks about the impact of communication on behavior. She shares that as she learned to type she was able to explain to others what was causing her behaviors and to get help in those areas. In high school, typing allowed her to write her own social stories and develop her own behavior plans. As her communication skills increased, her inappropriate behaviors decreased.

Those with Asperger’s and others on the more functionally able end of the spectrum may have more subtle communication challenges, but these are just as important for surviving in a neurotypical world. Many tend to have trouble reading body language and understanding implied meanings and metaphors, which can lead to frustration and misunderstanding. Michael Crouch, the college postmaster at the Crown College of the Bible in Tennessee, credits girls with helping him develop good communication skills. Some of his areas of difficulty were speaking too fast or too low, stuttering and poor eye contact. When he was a teenager, five girls at his church encouraged him to join the choir and this experience helped him overcome some of his difficulties. Having a group of non-autistic peers who shared his interests and provided opportunities for modeling and practicing good communication skills helped Michael become the accomplished speaker he is today.

Safety

Many on the spectrum had strong feelings about the issue of safety. Many remember not having a notion of safety when little, and putting themselves in unsafe situations due to sensory processing challenges. These challenges prevented them from feeling when something was too hot or too cold, if an object was very sharp or from “seeing” that it was too far to jump from the top of a jungle gym to the ground below.

Many adults described feeling terrified during their student years, and shared the fervent hope that with all the resources and knowledge we now have today’s students would not suffer as they had.  Practically all recounted instances of being bullied. Some said they had been sexually or physically abused, though some did not even realize it at the time. Others described how their teacher’s behaviors contributed directly or indirectly to being bullied. For example, Michael John Carley, Executive Director of GRASP and author of Asperger’s From the Inside Out, recalls how his teachers made jokes directed at him during class, which encouraged peer disrespect and led to verbal bullying outside the classroom.

A school environment that strictly enforced a no-tolerance bullying policy would have been extremely helpful, according to these adults. Sensitizing other students as to what autism is, teaching the child on the spectrum about abusive behavior, and  providing him/her with a safe place and safe person to go to at school would have helped as well. Teaching them the “hidden curriculum,” so they could have understood what everyone else picked up by osmosis would have given them a greater understanding of the social world and made them less easy prey.

Self-Esteem

Confidence in one’s abilities is a necessary precursor to a happy adult life. It is clear that those who appear self-confident and have good self-esteem tend to have had a few things in common while growing up. The most important factor was parents or caretakers who were accepting of their child, yet expected them to reach their potential and sought out ways to help them. Kamran Nazeer, author of Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of Autism, explains that having a relationship with an adult who was more neutral and not as emotionally involved as a parent is important as well. Parents naturally display a sense of expectations, while a teacher, mentor or a therapist can be supportive of a child and accepting of his/her behavioral and social challenges. Relationships with non-autistic peers, as well as autistic peers who share the same challenges were also important to developing confidence.

Pursuing Interests

This is an area that many people on the spectrum are passionate about. For many, activities are purpose driven or interest driven, and the notion of doing something just because it feels good, passes the time of day or makes you happy is not an obvious one. Zosia Zaks, author of Life and Love: Positive Strategies for Autistic Adults, told me that, as a child, she had no idea that she was supposed to be “having fun”—that there were activities that people participated in just for fun. It was one of those things about neurotypical living that no one ever explained to her.

As students, some of these adults were discouraged from following their obsessive  (positive translation: passionate) interest. Others were encouraged by parents and teachers who understood the value of using their interest to help them learn or develop a job skill. For example, when he was little, author and advocate Stephen Shore used to take apart and put together his timepieces. Years later, this interest was translated into paid work repairing bicycles at a bike store.

Self-Regulation

Respondents believed this is a necessary skill for taking part in community life. Many children on the spectrum suffer from sensory overload. It can also be difficult for them to understand what they are feeling and how to control their emotional response. Dena Gassner, MSW, who was diagnosed as an adult, believes it is necessary for children to be able to identify their “triggers” and that parents and educators should affirm to the child that whatever he or she is feeling is important. Even if it does not make sense to the adult, whatever the child is feeling is true for him or her. Various methods can be used to help them become more self-aware over time, to recognize when they are approaching sensory or emotional overload and to communicate the need for a break. As they get older, giving them more responsibility for scheduling their own breaks and choosing their own appropriate coping strategy can be very empowering.

Independence

Independence is an important goal, but may take longer than expected. Zosia Zaks told me that parents of children with autism need to realize and accept that they will be parenting for a lot longer than parents of neurotypical children. She has a point, but I never thought I’d still be discussing certain self-care issues when my son was old enough to vote. For many that I interviewed, some skill acquisition came later in life, and many are still improving themselves and their essential skills. This is nice to know because so often, as parents and educators, we hear about the “windows of opportunity” in terms of age and can become discouraged by our own inner cynics and other well-meaning doubters (“If they haven’t learned by now….”).

When discussing self-sufficiency, many stated that the two greatest challenges were executive functioning  (being able to get and stay organized) and sensory processing. Doing chores and establishing routines helped some as children to learn organizational skills and responsibility—two essential foundations for self-sufficiency.

Social Relationships

Relationships are important to all human beings, but are difficult for many on the spectrum. The adults I communicated with make it clear they enjoy having relationships, including those who are mostly non-verbal, such as Sue Rubin and D.J. Savarese (who wrote the last chapter of Reasonable People). However, understanding the concept of different types of relationships and knowing the appropriate behaviors and conversations expected does not come naturally, and can be magnified for those who are non-verbal.

Many adults, such as Dena Gassner and Zosia Zaks, discussed the importance of teaching children interdependence skills—how to ask for help, how to approach a store clerk, how to network as they get older. For them, interdependence did not come as easily as it does for neurotypicals. Yet, asking people for assistance—what aisle the cookies are located in, the name of a plumber when your sink is stopped up, letting people know you are looking for a job or apartment—is how social and community life functions.

Self-Advocacy

Effective self-advocacy entails a certain amount of disclosure. All of the adults I spoke with believed that children should be told about their diagnosis in a positive manner. Michael John Carley, who was diagnosed following the diagnosis of his son, says he always felt different than others. Getting a diagnosis was liberating because then he knew why he felt different. On the topic of disclosure to others, some believe in full disclosure to all, while others choose to disclose only the area of difficulty.

Like many her age, Kassiane Alexandra Sibley, who wrote a chapter of the book Ask and Tell,  was improperly diagnosed before discovering at age 18 that she had an autism spectrum disorder. She had to learn self-advocacy skills the hard way. Like many I spoke with, Kassiane believes that teaching children when they are young to speak up for themselves is the most important gift we can give them.

Earning a Living

This is an issue of major concern for many on the spectrum. Some of the adults I spoke with struggled for years before finding an area in which they could work. The life skills discussed earlier in this article impact tremendously on a person’s ability to find, get and keep a job. Many people on the spectrum continue to be unemployed or underemployed, which means we need to rethink our approach in how we are transitioning our youth from being students to being contributing members of society.

Temple Grandin, who co-authored the book Developing Talents, says that parents should help their children develop their natural talents and that young people need mentors to give them guidance and valuable experience. Authors John Elder Robinson (Look Me in the Eye) and Daniel Tammet (Born on a Blue Day) both credit their Asperger’s for giving them the talents on which they have based their successful businesses. For those whose talents are less obvious, a look at the community they live in and the service needs that exist there can be an option for creating an opportunity to earn money.  My son Jeremy and his teacher created a sandwich-delivery business and a flower business on his high school campus as part of his work experience. Customized employment, including self-employment, is an option that, with careful planning and implementation, can be a solution for some.

In retrospect, there are different choices I could have made  in raising and educating Jeremy these past 19 years. However, after conversations and e-mails with many  different adults on the spectrum, I have concluded that there is one factor I would not have changed, the formula I used for providing a solid foundation for both of my children: Take equal parts love, acceptance and expectation, and mix well.

This first appeared in the Advocate Magazine in 2008, published by the National  Autism Society of America

“THE STATE OF THINGS” North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC

April 22, 2010

Click here for a link to the radio show

The program is “The State of Things” on North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC.  Longtime NPR correspondent Frank Stasio hosts the program, which  this time  focused on autism.

The way Franc Stasio introduced me is a description I think describes what all autism moms and dads tend to be – strategists:

“… Jeremy is almost 22 now and  he is thriving thanks to an army of experts whose chief strategist and leader of the troops is his mother.” Frank Stasio, host of radio show ‘The State of Things” on WUNC, North Carolina Public Radio, April 2010.

I was on a panel that will include  Autism Society of North Carolina  spokesperson David Laxton; and a representative of the North Carolina TEACCH program, and Daniel Coulter.  TEACCH stands for “Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication Handicapped Children” and is associated with the North Carolina School of Medicine.

What Can Be Done to Help With Sensory Processing Challenges?

March 15, 2010
Headphones

Auditory Integration Training / Photo Rebecca Sicile-Kira

In my last Psychology Today post I discussed sensory processing disorder, and received  comments and  questions from readers.  I had mentioned an article  in The Boston Globe that  mentioned that  a  group of  professionals and parents  was  lobbying to get sensory processing disorder included in the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Reader Dr. Joshua Feder wrote in to give us the link where people can provide input:  “Remember, the public commenting on the upcoming DSM-V is still in process and the addition of SPDs is in flux, so if you think it is important you can make your voice heard. Go to http://www.spdfoundation.net/dsmv.html to learn more!“

Sensory processing challenges is a hot topic at autism conferences  and this provides me the opportunity of asking adults on the autism spectrum  what we could do to make the sensory aspects of life easier for them, as well as children who may be unable to discuss what they are sensing. I have written up the answers in my book, 41 Things To Know About Autism, and I am mentioning some of them here. Continue reading »

What happens in Vegas……

March 14, 2010
Jeremy in Las Vegas

Looks like Paris,France - but it's Paris Las Vegas.

When my son Jeremy  was approaching his 21st birthday, one of his support staff, Troy, said that it was time for an all guy trip with his buddies to Las Vegas. Plans were made, and the trip took place at the end of February. The guys–only trip was a success. I don’t know the details – “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” as Jeremy spelled out to his math teacher at school who inquired what he did on his trip. I have Jeremy’s permission to post the following picture and what he told me about the trip which is short but sweet:  “I had  way too much fun.”  Obviously, all the guys who went did – there’s talk of making this a bi-annual trip.

Modern Love

February 9, 2010

My son is pining for a girlfriend. He’s on Facebook.

Relationship Status: Single
Interested In: Women
Looking For: Friendship, Dating,  A Relationship, Networking.
Political Views: Go Obama!
About Me:  I like to listen to music and walk on the beach. I can type with one finger. I have autism.

Jeremy is quite a catch – he’s buff from working out at the gym,  has an endearing personality, and he starred in an award-winning episode of the MTV ‘True Life’ series.  Never mind that he is autistic,  and  needs help with everyday living skills, and probably always will. (In my opinion, he should be looking for a traditional wife who will take care of him, instead of a girlfriend, but I digress).

One night recently I woke up at 3:00 am to find that all the houselights had been turned on. Usually a sound sleeper, Jeremy had been making the rounds.  I heard him downstairs and decided to investigate. He was looking through my husband’s collection of architecture books. He found the one he was looking for, Las Vegas: The Fabulous 50’s, and flipped it open to the section on strip clubs and showgirls. “Why are you up, Jeremy, what’s going on?” I asked. “I’m thinking about girls,” he replied.

Continue reading »

I am an adult and I think I may have Asperger’s Syndrome (AS). How and why should I get diagnosed if in fact I do have AS?

February 2, 2010

This article originally appeared in The Autism Advocate blog at PschologyToday.com

Usually I write mostly about children or adolescents on the autism spectrum. However,  I’ve been getting quite a number of emails lately from adults wondering if they have Asperger’s Syndrome or not, so I decided to share some information from my book to be published March 25, 41 Things to Know About Autism. Asperger Syndrome (AS) is a high functioning form of autism that has only been an official diagnosis since 1994. Adults with AS who seek help with challenges they face are sometimes misdiagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, or other mental illnesses. It is important that adults questioning whether or not they have AS, seek the services of a professional experienced in assessing AS in adults (see resources below).

If you are an adult with characteristics resembling AS, why does it matter if you get a diagnosis or not? If you are functioning well and have a job, and are happy with the life you have, then there is no reason to get a diagnosis. On the other hand, if you are struggling in important areas in your life, a diagnosis can provide a framework for understanding and learning about behavioral and emotional challenges that have seemed unexplainable until now. Although challenges in sensory integration (the ability to organize sensory information for use by the brain) are not considered diagnostic criteria, I have yet to meet a person with Asperger’s who does not have a sensory challenge of one kind or the other.

Some areas of difficulty where Asperger’s Syndrome could possibly be a factor:

  • Do you have a tough time making and/or keeping friends, and don’t understand why? Or perhaps your friends are only interested in you when you’re engaged in an activity or interest that you share, but you have not built a personal relationship.
  • Are parties not your thing because you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed? Social events are a great way to meet people and they can be essential for business, dating, and even marriage. But if you are uncomfortable because you are unsure of what to wear, how to start conversations, you have a hard time reading body language, then these supposedly fun events can be torturous.
  • Do you avoid social events because you can’t hear the person next to you over the hum of the crowd, you don’t like the touch of shaking people’s hands or having people pat you on the back? Do you a problem focusing on what people are saying while looking at them?
  • Have you ever met someone special that you wanted to get to know better, but didn’t have a clue as to how to go about asking him /her out on a date?
  • Has someone you are very fond of pointed out certain behaviors that drive them crazy and suggested that you might have Asperger’s Syndrome. Maybe there is something to their suggestion.
  • Do you have a passionate interest in a certain subject or topic? Perhaps you’ve been called obsessive but you think you’re just very interested in one incredibly fascinating subject matter. This passionate topic could help you in other areas of your life, if only you knew how to use it.
  • If you are a college student , do you have trouble keeping up with coursework and finishing a degree? Perhaps you could use some help in getting and staying organized and planning your time.
  • Do you have trouble in getting and keeping a job that reflects your abilities even though your credentials look great on paper? It could be that you are very talented but don’t have a clue as to how to do the sell your self during an interview. Maybe the office politics are just something you don’t get, so you are routinely passed up when it comes to promotions.

Why you should get a diagnosis, if indeed you do have Asperger’s Syndrome:

  • You can begin the process of learning to live more adaptively with an Asperger’s brain.
  • Getting a diagnosis may help you find the strategies you need to be more successful in the areas where you are facing challenges
  • It may also help others in your life understand why you are the way you are, and respond to you differently.
  • There is a whole community of people who get who you are, how you think, how you feel, and that you can share experiences with.
  • There are autism and AS support groups out there (on-line as well as in person) who can help you in many ways so you don’t have to feel isolated and figure everything out for yourself .
  • You may be eligible for service services in areas of need thanks to having a diagnosis – perhaps help with finding a job or a place to live.

How to find out if you have Asperger’s Syndrome or not:

  • Typically you need to see either a clinical social worker, a licensed professional counselor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist or neuropsychiatrist. It is important to see a professional who specializes in autism spectrum disorders or Asperger’s Syndrome, who is familiar with Aperger’s Syndrome in adults.
  • One way to find the right person in your geographical location is to contact The Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership (GRASP), http://www.grasp.org/and the Autism Society of America (ASA). These organization may have chapters in your area. If not, they can provide you with the names of professionals who would know someone to refer you to, in your geographical area.
  • if you know parents of children with autism, ask them about the professionals in your area familiar with autism. If those professionals cannot help you, they will refer you to someone in your area familiar with AS in adults.

To find out what some adults have to say about growing up with AS, read Autism Life Skills.

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