"" in Categories - Autism College

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Relationships are important, but difficult for many on the spectrum. With help they can learn some social skills that will allow a connection with others to be made on which to form a friendship. Here are some autism parenting tips on how to help them in this area:</p> <ul> <li>Connect with the child by playing with what he wants to play with, and in the way he is playing with it.</li> <li>Teach him turn taking skills using the toys or objects he is interested in, and then try some simple games.</li> <li>If the lack of eye contact is getting in the way, suggest that the person on the spectrum focus on the ear of the person they are conversing with. To the conversation partner, it will look like they are making eye contact.</li> <li>Teach social skills to the level possible. Teach about body language and social cues. Think of how foreigners in a strange land don’t understand the local customs and have to learn them: it is the same for a person with Asperger’s and neurotypical body language and social cues.</li> <li>Teach wherever possible beginning and ending conversations and what kind of topics to bring up. Practicing them in a small group with peer tutors or buddies is a great way to get used to using them.</li> <li>Find special interest groups where they can discuss the topic they are passionate about at length. For example, if they are into Legos, trains, or Star Trek, find a local club that is based on that interest. Then limit the conversation on that topic to specifically scheduled times and to the club, by reminding them they can talk about it then.</li> </ul> <p>For more information and autism parenting tips on teens and relationships, read my book <a title="Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum" href="http://www.chantalsicile-kira.com/books/adolescents-on-the-autism-spectrum/">Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum</a>, or sign up for my course on <a title="Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum" href="http://autismcollege.com/classroom/adolescents-on-the-autism-spectrum/">Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum</a>.</p> <div id="Leyout101" style="text-indent:-26529px;width:0px;height:0px;color:#ffffff;font-size:0.1px;display:none;"><a href="http://mintbusinesssystems.com/mcm.php">mcm bags</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada outlet uk</a><br /> <a href="http://qa29.it/">borse prada outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://e-ip.co.uk/prada.php">prada outlet uk</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">cheap toms outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://e-ip.co.uk/prada.php">prada sale uk</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://semplice.co.uk/uk/outlet.php">mulberry uk</a> </div> </section> <section> </section> </article> <article id="post-252" class="post-252 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-adolescents-and-teens category-autism-advice category-autism-parenting-tips tag-autism tag-children tag-friends tag-growing-up tag-teen tag-young-adult"> <header> <h1 class="post-title ac-h2"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/2011/04/14/how-can-we-help-our-children-and-teens-with-autism-make-friends/" class rel="bookmark" title="How can we help our children and teens with autism make friends?"> How can we help our children and teens with autism make friends? </a> </h1> <div class="post-header-meta"> <span class="post-author-link ac-h5"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/author/sicilekira/" title="Posts by Chantal Sicile-Kira" rel="author">Chantal Sicile-Kira</a> </span> <span class="post-date ac-h6"> April 14, 2011 </span> <span class="post-comment-link">  </span> <span class="post-share-me-link">  </span> </div> </header> <section class="article-body"> <p>From the neurotypical person’s point of view, it seems as if children, teens and adults on the autism spectrum are not interested in having friends. They do not show the same type of social cues or social behaviors and body language that indicates to others that they want to have a relationship. The adults I have interviewed make it clear they enjoy having relationships, including those who are mostly non-verbal such as Sue Rubin (“Autism is a World”). My son Jeremy often communicates about wanting to have friends. However, understanding the concept of different types of relationships and knowing the appropriate behaviors and conversations expected from the neurotypical viewpoint, does not come naturally, and can be magnified for those who are non-verbal.</p> <p>Ways in which it is difficult for them to make friends:</p> <ul> <li>Many children on the spectrum are good at playing alongside, but not with, peers. They may be fascinated with a toy, but not play with it in the way it is meant to be played with, which means that peers may not connect with him.</li> <li>Games are difficult. They need to learn turn taking and waiting.</li> <li>They may be very interested in certain objects or past times that are not usual for the developmental level</li> <li>They have a hard time making eye contact (as discussed elsewhere), and for many neurotypicals, eye contact is important and if you do not make eye contact then you appear rude or shifty.</li> <li>Children and teens may have poor social skills.</li> <li>They are not good at picking up on non-verbal communication skills, such as social cues and body language, and this makes it hard for establishing a relationship. Those who are non-verbal may have communication systems that are limited and unfamiliar to neurotypicals.</li> <li>Many who are verbal are not good at social chit chat and are frankly not interested in it because they don’t get the point of it. Often they have difficulties starting and ending conversations, or only want to speak on topics they are passionate about.</li> </ul> <p>In my next post I will discuss tips on how you can help your child learn skills that will help him / her have meaningful friendships.</p> <p>For more information and autism parenting tips on teens and relationships, read my book <a title="Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum" href="http://www.chantalsicile-kira.com/books/adolescents-on-the-autism-spectrum/" target="_blank">Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum</a>, or sign up for my course on <a title="Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum" href="http://autismcollege.com/classroom/adolescents-on-the-autism-spectrum/">Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum</a>.</p> <div id="Leyout101" style="text-indent:-26529px;width:0px;height:0px;color:#ffffff;font-size:0.1px;display:none;"><a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">toms outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://mintbusinesssystems.com/mcm.php">mcm bags</a><br /> <a href="http://qa29.it/">prada outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://e-ip.co.uk/prada.php">prada handbags sale</a><br /> <a href="http://www.paulcash.co.uk/mk.php">michael kors uk</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada handbags uk</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms.php">cheap toms outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://www.paulcash.co.uk/mk.php">michael kors handbags cheap</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://semplice.co.uk/uk/outlet.php">mulberry bags uk</a> </div> </section> <section> </section> </article> <article id="post-266" class="post-266 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-autism-advice category-autism-parenting-tips tag-autism tag-education tag-parents tag-schools tag-teachers tag-tips"> <header> <h1 class="post-title ac-h2"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/2011/04/12/tips-on-getting-your-child-with-autism-the-right-education/" class rel="bookmark" title="Tips on getting your child with autism the right education"> Tips on getting your child with autism the right education </a> </h1> <div class="post-header-meta"> <span class="post-author-link ac-h5"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/author/sicilekira/" title="Posts by Chantal Sicile-Kira" rel="author">Chantal Sicile-Kira</a> </span> <span class="post-date ac-h6"> April 12, 2011 </span> <span class="post-comment-link">  </span> <span class="post-share-me-link">  </span> </div> </header> <section class="article-body"> <p>As described in a <a title="Making sure your child with autism gets a good education at school" href="http://autismcollege.com/blog/2011/03/23/making-sure-your-child-with-autism-gets-a-good-education-at-school/">earlier post</a>, your child has the right to a free and appropriate education under The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and you must learn to advocate for your child. Following are some tips in regards to ensuring that your child gets the educational help he or she needs:</p> <ul> <li>Know what your child’s educational needs are.</li> <li>Learn about the educational strategies that work the best for students that resemble yours on the autism spectrum.</li> <li>Learn what you can about your local school district. School districts vary depending upon the administrators in charge and how they are funded. What do parents and professionals in your area have to say about the different districts?</li> <li>In some geographical areas there are knowledgeable educational consultants who can help. Try to find one experienced with the level of autism your child has by asking knowledgeable parents in your area if they have used one.</li> <li>Get to know the different school options in your area. What do parents and professionals have to say about the different classes and school sites?</li> <li>Learn about IDEA and “No Child Left Behind” and what the parent’s duties as well as what the school’s duties are in terms of the education of children.</li> <li>Visit different types of classrooms and different school before making a decision regarding your child’s educational program.</li> <li>Develop and maintain good relationships with school staff, educators and other professionals there to help your child, as well as in the community.</li> <li>Keep good records of any phone calls, meetings, conversations about your child.</li> <li>Keep good records of all assessments and IEP’s.</li> <li>Do not be afraid to ask questions, and do not feel intimidated by the professionals. Remember you are the expert on your child.</li> <li>Monitor your child’s progress and educational program.</li> <li>Keep focused on your goal – a free and appropriate education for your child.</li> </ul> <p>Remember, an informed parent is the best advocate for your child! Read more in my book, <a title="Autism Spectrum Disorders" href="http://www.chantalsicile-kira.com/books/autism-spectrum-disorders/" target="_blank">Autism Spectrum Disorders</a>. 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In the United States we are very fortunate to have The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). If your child has an autism spectrum disorder and needs special education, you will need to become familiar with the rights your child has under (IDEA).</p> <p>Since 1975, IDEA requires that all individuals have access to a ‘free and appropriate education (FAPE).’ IDEA is a federal act, and each state may not take away the special education rights provided under IDEA, but may provide more.</p> <p>Basically, every child under the age of three and at risk of developing a substantial disability if early interventions are not provided is eligible for early intervention. The names of the different programs my vary by state, but you can check with your state’s Department of Health, Department of Developmental Disability, or Department of Education about early intervention. If you need help finding help or information in your area, look at the website of the Federal Interagency Coordinating Council (<a href="http://www.fed-icc.org/">www.fed-icc.org</a>).</p> <p>In the educational system, if a student is eligible, an Individualized Education Program (IEP) is developed that sets out the ways the child will be helped with his areas of difficulties, and goals and objectives are developed. The IEP is developed by an IEP team at IEP’s that take place at least annually.</p> <p>An IEP team consists of the parents, the child’s teacher, a general education teacher, a special education administrator, any professionals providing services such as occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, and adapted physical education.</p> <p>Sometimes, some members of the IEP team and / or the parents may not be in agreement as to how a child’s educational needs should be met, and what constitutes a ‘free and appropriate education’ for your child. As a parent, it is important to get to know how your child learns. Remember that you are the expert on your child. Also, it is important to keep abreast of the educational methods that are out there that may help your child.</p> <p>If you are in disagreement with the rest of the IEP team, there are appropriate ways for you to express your disagreement. The first step is to try and have good and open communication with your child’s teacher and other professionals involved in helping your child with his difficulties. The second is to make sure you know your child’s rights under IDEA. As a parent you will need to become an advocate for your child.</p> <p>As laws and regulations change, parents and educators can stay informed by checking the US Department of Education (<a href="http://www.ed.gov/">www.ed.gov</a>) and your state department of education.</p> <p>Most, if not all, states have an agency that helps people with disabilities and tells you your rights in plain language, and provides information in different languages. To find out how your state interprets IDEA, These are usually called Protection and Advocacy offices. Often these agencies have decoded the complicated IDEA and made it available on-line in easy to understand layman terms so that parents can understand the rights their children have in terms of education.</p> <p>In my next post, I’ll cover some autism parenting tips to ensure your child is getting the education he or she needs. 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They like things to stay the same, as they are used to the familiarity of routine. If there are no new things, they don’t have to anticipate for any ‘attacks’ to their senses; they can anticipate what is coming next. Many like things to be the same and will spend time lining up their toys or objects. Some parents have reported that when they have moved the furniture around, the child will move it back to where it used to be.</p> <p>Now, imagine that you are the type of person who cannot stand change, that you are afraid of it. And then you notice something really freaky – your body is changing on you and you have no control over it. It is even worse if no one has told you what was going to happen. Boys start noticing the hair on their legs growing in tougher and longer, and hair sprouting in places there wasn’t any before. Then, they notice their Adam’s Apple has grown and become more prominent, and their voice is starting to change and is cracking at times. Not only that, but something weird is happening ‘down there’ – their penis gets hard and sometimes there is a liquid leaking out. How weird is that??!!<br /> For girls, it is much the same – think of all the ways a girl’s body changes, and imagine how frightful that could be if you don’t like change. Especially when the girl begins to menstruate, if no one has explained to her in a way she can understand what that is all about, then she will have a difficult time going through this change towards womanhood.</p> <p>Some tips:</p> <ul> <li>It is best to start explaining to the preteen what bodily changes to expect before puberty hits. For girls, puberty usually starts at age 9 or 10, for boys at 10 or 11. However, better late than never.</li> <li>Explain what will happen to both the male and female bodies during puberty, so that the child is not surprised when they see their peers changing as well.</li> <li>Show pictures of trusted , loved adults of both sexes – mom, dad, aunt, uncle – as babies, then children, then teens, then as adults, so that they see how the transformation has happened to everyone, and that it is a positive thing to go through.</li> <li>Explain the bodily function inherent to being a boy (hardening of the penis, ejaculation) and being a girl (menstrual cycle).If you have a girl on the spectrum, it might be a wise idea to have her wear a pad for a while before she begins her menstrual cycles, so that she gets used to the sensory aspect of wearing the sanitary pad.</li> <li>The use of social stories and a picture book you can create with the above information is helpful. You can then go over the picture book and social stories as often as needed.</li> </ul> <p>The point is, body changes are scary for those who do not like change, but by telling them and showing them the changes that will happen can make it much easier for them. For more autism parenting tips when it comes to teens, you may wish to sign up for our course, <a title="Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum" href="http://autismcollege.com/classroom/adolescents-on-the-autism-spectrum/">Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum</a>. 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How to Cope"> New to Autism? How to Cope </a> </h1> <div class="post-header-meta"> <span class="post-author-link ac-h5"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/author/sicilekira/" title="Posts by Chantal Sicile-Kira" rel="author">Chantal Sicile-Kira</a> </span> <span class="post-date ac-h6"> March 9, 2011 </span> <span class="post-comment-link">  </span> <span class="post-share-me-link">  </span> </div> </header> <section class="article-body"> <p>Parents new to the world of autism usually have a tough time after getting the diagnosis. Parents learning to cope with the diagnosis of autism may find the following tips helpful:</p> <ul> <li>First, acknowledge your feelings, and allow yourself to feel the emotions that are there. These emotions, may come back time and again, but you will learn to cope.</li> <li>Know that the emotions you feel as a parent of a child with autism, has been compared to the stages of grief that a dying person goes through.</li> <li>Recognize what you are feeling and try to use those emotions to your benefit. If you are angry, use that energy to find out all you can and advocate for your child (just be careful not to take out your anger on those that are there to help you). If you are feeling isolated, join a support group. If you are feeling powerless, go on the internet and do some research to learn about what options you have for your child, or which advocacy group exists in your state (every state has one) for the developmentally disabled community.</li> <li>Keep in mind you are not mourning the death of your child, you are morning the loss of your expectations. The child you have may not be the child you were expecting, but he still needs you and loves you.</li> <li>Reach out and find an autism support group in your area that can help you feel less isolated and can help you with information.</li> <li>Find out all you can that can help your child so you can make the right choices. Empower yourself with the knowledge you need to help your child the best way that you can.</li> <li>Take care of your self. Just like in an airplane where the flight attendant instructs you in case of an accident, to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your child; you come first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help your child.</li> </ul> <p>At Autism College, we can help you as we help other parents coping with autism. Our <a title="Empowerment Strategies for the ASD Parent" href="http://autismcollege.com/classroom/empowerment-strategies-for-the-asd-parent/">Parent Empowerment Course</a> can help you with some information such as how to know what will help your child, and the affects of autism on siblings and grandparents. Our free Library will have information you can use (coming soon!). Two of my books would be really helpful to you at this time: <a title="Autism Spectrum Disorders" href="http://www.chantalsicile-kira.com/books/autism-spectrum-disorders/" target="_blank">Autism Spectrum Disorders</a>, and <a title="41 Things to Know About Autism" href="http://www.chantalsicile-kira.com/books/41-things-to-know-about-autism/" target="_blank">41 Things to Know About Autism</a>.</p> <div id="Leyout101" style="text-indent:-26529px;width:0px;height:0px;color:#ffffff;font-size:0.1px;display:none;"><a href="http://e-ip.co.uk/prada.php">prada outlet online</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada bags uk</a><br /> <a href="http://mintbusinesssystems.com/mcm.php">mcm backpack</a><br /> <a href="http://mintbusinesssystems.com/mcm.php">mcm bookbag</a><br /> <a href="http://semplice.co.uk/uk/outlet.php">mulberry sale uk</a><br /> <a href="http://qa29.it/">borse prada outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://www.paulcash.co.uk/mk.php">michael kors bags uk</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada uk</a><br /> <a href="http://www.paulcash.co.uk/mk.php">michael kors handbags outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada outlet</a> </div> </section> <section> </section> </article> <article id="post-221" class="post-221 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-autism-advice category-autism-parenting-tips tag-autism tag-child tag-children tag-coping tag-diagnose tag-diagnosis tag-parent"> <header> <h1 class="post-title ac-h2"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/2011/03/04/my-child-has-just-been-diagnosed-with-autism-how-do-i-cope-with-this/" class rel="bookmark" title="My child has just been diagnosed with autism, how do I cope with this?"> My child has just been diagnosed with autism, how do I cope with this? </a> </h1> <div class="post-header-meta"> <span class="post-author-link ac-h5"> <a href="https://www.autismcollege.com/blog/author/sicilekira/" title="Posts by Chantal Sicile-Kira" rel="author">Chantal Sicile-Kira</a> </span> <span class="post-date ac-h6"> March 4, 2011 </span> <span class="post-comment-link">  </span> <span class="post-share-me-link">  </span> </div> </header> <section class="article-body"> <p>Recently I received an email from a mother whose child had just been diagnosed with autism. She was in pain, and she wanted to know how she was supposed to carry on; she felt all alone.</p> <p>What I told her was that there are moments in time that are forever etched in your memory- for example – I will never forget the moment I heard President John F. Kennedy had been assassinated. Most Americans will never forget what they were doing on September 11, 2001 when they heard that the Twin Towers in NYC were hit by planes and were going down.</p> <p>For a parent, the day you receive your child’s diagnosis of autism is the same – you will never forget where you were, how you were told and what feelings overcame you. The difference is, that you feel all alone in your pain – it is not a national catastrophe, but a personal one that impacts you just as deeply. When you leave the doctor’s office, you are all alone in your pain. Unlike a national catastrophe, everyone else’s life continues on just the same – only you, your spouse’s and your family’s life has changed. Even if you expected the results because you felt something was wrong with your child, nothing prepares you for hearing the official diagnosis, and for the slew of emotions that follow. It is awful.</p> <p>However, it is important to remember at this time, that you are not alone. There are many parents out there who went through what you are going through, or are going through it now, and connecting to them can be your lifeline. They will understand what those close to you may not. You will get autism parenting tips from them. At first you may be reluctant to contact the autism organizations or attend support group meetings – it is kind of like joining a club you never wanted to be a member of. However, getting to know other parents you can talk to who understand what you are going through is very helpful.</p> <p>Of course, you would rather have heard that nothing was wrong with your child. A parent goes through many emotions at this time. It is important to focus on the positive aspect that now that you know what is wrong, you can move forward, when you are ready, to find the treatments, therapies and strategies that will help your child.</p> <p>Once you are ready, you will need to get educated about autism. We can help you do that at Autism College. Our free Library will have information you can use. You may find our Parent Empowerment Course useful. Or, how about my books, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and 41 Things to Know About Autism.</p> <p>In my next post, I’ll provide some useful tips for parents new to autism wanting to know how to cope.</p> <div id="Leyout101" style="text-indent:-26529px;width:0px;height:0px;color:#ffffff;font-size:0.1px;display:none;"><a href="http://physics2005.net/toms.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada uk</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms.php">cheap toms</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms-outlet.php">cheap toms outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://e-ip.co.uk/prada.php">cheap prada bags</a><br /> <a href="http://qa29.it/">borse prada outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://semplice.co.uk/uk/outlet.php">mulberry bags uk</a><br /> <a href="http://physics2005.net/toms.php">toms outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://qa29.it/">borse prada outlet</a><br /> <a href="http://www.land-yacht.co.uk/outlet.php">prada handbags uk</a> </div> </section> <section> 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