Johnny Depp and My 2012 Goals

January 9, 2012

Someone I met recently commented that they noticed I had not posted a blog here since May 2011.  I can’t believe it’s been that long but  I’ve been busy co-authoring a book (yes, another autism book!).

But I’m back here today – because I woke up this morning from a really weird dream brought on by my daytime worries.  Even if the dream involved Johnny Depp (more on the dream, later),  obviously I am overwhelmed and stressed  – probably like many of you reading this. And I wanted to share something I hope will be helpful.

After I woke up from my dream (and got over the initial excitement of having visited with Johnny Depp while still in my own bed) I decided enough was enough, and that I had to start walking the talk I give autism parents about taking care of themselves.

So I decided to follow the advice of  Chris Brogan. I received an email describing how in the last few years Chris has skipped the tradition of creating New Year’s Resolutions (soon forgotten) and instead he  creates  three words that describe what he wants to focus on for the coming year.  I thought that was a great idea and could help my stress level.

Here are my three words: (none of which are Johnny or Depp):

Produce:  I have great ideas, and I follow through when there are clear-cut deadlines ( for a publisher or a speaking engagement), but my own professional projects (AutismCollege.com)  and  personal ones (exercise,  develop my personal relationships, mentor my autistic son Jeremy in reaching his life goals) don’t get completed in a timely fashion.  So this year, I will produce the projects I have identified as crucial and dear to my heart. Which takes me to my second word…

Flow: In order to have more time to produce, I need to eliminate distractions and clutter in all areas of my life. I’m interested in so many things and I easily get distracted so I am learning to have blinders like a racing horse does and focus on the finish line. Horses can still sense what they may not necessarily see, and I hope I have the same instincts when necessary.

Collaborate: Often I am so busy with outside deadlines that I don’t make the effort to spend time with people who I could effectively partner with to reach mutually beneficial professional and personal goals.  This year, I will focus on collaborating with like-minded people who have similar goals.

Hopefully, what I’ve shared is helpful to you. However, I know most of you just want to hear about my dream involving Johnny Depp (rated PG). So here it is:

I dreamt I was visiting my daughter, Rebecca, who was staying with a musician friend, helping him break into the music business. (Rebecca is a volunteer DJ at the UC Davis radio station).  Johnny Depp was staying there as well (big surprise!). While I’m there Johnny asks Rebecca to help him with the computer to hear an on-line training course that is discussing streams of income and sales funnels and handling your wealth.  I am nervous meeting Johnny, so I try to make conversation  about how Rebecca could use information  like that because she is having such a tough time finding a part time job (reality) while at college, and could use money, and as I continue talking I realize that I sound like I am asking Johnny Depp for money and for a job for Rebecca, which I am not. I’m just having a bad case of  foot in- mouth disease.  I feel really stupid. Only my daughter was more embarrassed than I was.  We climb into a small boat to reach the small stage where Rebecca’s musician friend is playing, and getting out of the boat I splash my husband’s best friend from New Jersey, and his wife and practically drown them. Embarrassment after embarrassment. You know the feeling.

That’s my dream. So this morning I woke up, wrote PRODUCE, FLOW, COLLABORATE on a piece of paper and put it on the dining room table (center of the house) and every time I do something now I ask if it fits in with my goals. I’ll keep you posted on how my three words work out.

What are you focusing on this year?

If you are still reading this far and you know Johnny Depp, tell him I’m not asking for money, but if he needs info on autism, tell him to check out my books and websites, and to call me if he has time for lunch. We could collaborate on something. Hopefully, his good looks won’t be too much of a distraction.

Best wishes  to you and your family for 2012!

New Year’s Resolutions

December 30, 2009

Seven tips for a more livable New Year

If you are like me, you’re happy to see the back end of this year and are looking forward with renewed hope to the New Year just round the corner.
Here are  some tips for a more livable New Year  that  don’t  need to cost  you money, and if practiced regularly  may even save you som, because you will feel less stressed, and require less self-medication or visits to the doctor. These tips are useful for everyone, not just for people with autism in their lives either as parents or professionals, so feel free to pass them  around. I hope you will adopt one or two of them as your New Year’s Resolutions:
·      Practice self-care.  Even if it is just for 15 minutes a day, take a breather.  Just like the flight attendants on airplanes instruct you to put the oxygen mask on you before helping a child, you need to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of  others.

·      Acknowledge what you have accomplished. Too often, at the end of the day, people think about all the things on their to-do list that they have not gotten done.  Do yourself credit – think about all that you did   accomplish that day. You will be amazed at how long that list is, and you will sleep better at night.

·      Focus on the positive. Nothing in life is perfect. Every situation has appositive and a negative aspect to it.  Focusing on the negative will leave you spinning your wheels. Focusing on the positive will give you the energy you need to  move forward.

·      Remain true to your life goals and values. If you know what you want, keep your eye on the ball. Evaluate the opportunities that present themselves and ask yourself, “Is this is line with my plan for myself, my family, my community? Is this in line with my values? ” If yes, accept. If not, decline.

·      Forgive yourself. We’ve all done something or said something we’ve later regretted, or perhaps not behaved or worked up to our usual high standards. Learn from the experience, but don’t dwell on your mistakes.

·      Forgive others. No-one is perfect, and as you wish to be forgiven by others, you must forgive those around you.

·      Practice wisdom, serenity, and courage. A wise man once prayed: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” No matter your religious beliefs, we all need that kind of wisdom.
Best wishes to you and your family for a happy, healthy, and wealthy New Year.

First posted on Examiner.com December 30, 2009